Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Choose your Crook!

Prompted by the news report that there are
graft-cases against 3500 employees of the
Municipal Corporation of Delhi (MCD)!
* MCD = Municipal Corruption of Delhi
* MCD = Municipal 'Kar-Pareshan' of Delhi
* MCD = Municipal Chor-poration of Delhi

Sunday, May 24, 2009


Why would political parties have whips if they did'nt have horses?

Horse Trading!

Chief Secretary: Sir, you want us to go ahead with
this tender for horses?
The Minister: Yes! We need them for making the new
Government stable!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Too many holes!

Q: How was the visit to the Rabbit-Farm?
A: A 'Hare-Raising' experience!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Nail-Biting results of the Election!

Reporter: How do you feel?
Karunanidhi: 'Ill-action'!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

After the Elections!

Q: What are the 'Left'(out) parties doing now?
A: Looking for the 'Right' people!

Gossip Medicine!

Neighbour: Where do you get all these new recipes?
Housewife: I always go to the doctor.
Neighbour: The doctor tells you these?
Housewife: No! The ladies present there!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Flu in without a Visa!

The H1N1 virus sounds more like
a category of the American visa!
Only that you get it flying-out of the US!

Science Fiction!

Though called Body-Chemistry,
in reality it is all Physical!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

E-Mail ? or Female ?

Secretary: My boss is a dictator!
Friend: Why do you say so?
Secretary: He dictates to me
all his e-mails!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wealth is Health!

Report: Children of a corrupt politician are soaking in luxury.
Comments: Hay makes the son shine!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Another Slum! Another Dog!

Director: You appear excited about the new person you hired!
Manager : Sir, he is from a slum of Mumbai and says he wants
to be a millionaire!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

For your appetite!

Q: What makes a good Indian cook?

Bye! Bye!

Q: How do you say Good-Bye in Japanese?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Presidential View!

A bird in hand is better than two with Bush!

A Heavy Search!

Shop-Assistant: Sir, your wife is here!
The customer: Where? Where?
Assistant (returning with her): Here she is!
Weight 63 kilos!

The Whole Hole!

After a municipal land-fill exercise,
one rabbit complaining to the other:
Someone has stolen my hole!

Yes Minister!

Politician praising an author:
He is known for his prose and worse!

Matter for Divorce!

Woman: I want to divorce my husband for cruelty!
Judge: What did he do to you?
Woman: Absolutely nothing!

Marital Infidelity!

Party Gossip: Maria's husband found in bed with Malaria!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Electronic Voting!

Q: Why couldn't Pappu vote at the Polling Booth?
A: He thought the voting machine was a Casiotone!

Hard Hitting!

Glass-shop Owner: Why are you holding a hammer?
New Salesman: This customer is asking for 4 pieces
of this glass!

Off The Lap-Top!

Flair for Computer Education?
- BASIC Instinct!

A point of View!

Some women despise the menfolk,
yet they call themselves we-men!


What is common between a Horse and a Hard Drink ?
- Both give you a kick!

Hard Decision!

Boss: There was referendum in our office
today, on whether to wear a tie or not.
Wife: What was the result?
Boss: A tie!

Scribbled outside a Polling-Booth!

For Adults Only!


Signboard outside a floor-tile shop:

Pure Milk!

A small town
House-Owner: Our milkman is said to be doing a lot of adultery these days.
Neighbour: Who told you that?
House-Owner: My wife of course!


What is Myopia of one eye?


The latest newspaper in the town?
'The Daily Nuis.'!

Down to Earth!

Complaining to the builder about the crumbling walls,
Flat-Owner: 'Flat' is what you call it?
The Builder: Not yet!

Long Distance!

There are 2 types of people in the world!
There are those who look far;
they have a vision before them.
Then, there are those who cannot see far;
they have a television before them!

Facts of Life!

For most people marriage is a heir-raising experience!

Beware! The Ear!

Friend: Which brand is your dog? Does it bite?
Dog-owner: Its a boxer! It does bite, and hard!
Friend: What is its name?
Dog-Owner: Tyson!

Between the Twins!

Comment: Mohan is a carbon-copy of Sohan!
Question: Does he look exactly the same?
Answer: Well, only far too dark!

American Patents!

The Rice and Fall of Basmati!

SMS from Saudi Arabia!

So said the Hyderabadi bride: Old is .. cold!


A game of 'bet' and 'bawl'!

Toe to Head!

Signboard outside a shoe-shop:
Find your sole-mate here!

Situation Vacant!

Ad in the newspaper!
Leading slaughterhouse in Saudi Arabia looking for a Head!

Bollywood Definitions!

Damsel with lovely long hair: Mis-Tress
Damsel with none to take care: Distress!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Party Musings!

And there was that socialite who did'nt want her cold to go away,
simply because she had acquired it on a foreign trip!

Missed the Flight!

So, the pilots got stuck at the airport,
just because they could'nt find a 'crew-driver'!

Very Sporty!

Player: I had to get out of the game due to a leg-break.
Friend: Been playing cricket, eh?
Player: No! Football!

Body Beautiful!

Q: If a nice-looking male is called 'Handsome',
what could a lovely female be called ? 'Legsome'!


Hotel-Receptionist: Are you together?
Boy with the girl: Well, trying to-get-her!


Signboard outside a Car Body-Repair Garage:

Virtual Love!

Nagging girl: Darling, what sort of ring
will you give me at our wedding?
Fed-Up boy: Long-Distance!

Growing Up!

Many agree that
as the molars become strong,
the morals become loose!

What a comfort!

The proverb: Life is not a bed of roses!
Thank God! Otherwise,
the thorns would have made sleeping impossible!

On Medical Grounds!

The Supervisor: I just caught you sleeping while on the job!
Factory-Worker: The doctor had said an extra doze did'nt matter!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Dear Watson!

When Khushwant Singh knocked at midnight
at the door of Sherlock Holms, came the reply
from inside: 'Kuchh want Singh, I presume'!

Eating out?

Girl: Let's go out for a bite! Care for a hot dog?
Miser: No need to go out. The dog is right here!
Girl: Silly! I mean a hot-dog!
Miser: You really sweat when he bites!

On the Battlefield!

Where did Napoleon fight his last battle?
Some loo that!

Printer's Devil!

About a great philosopher:
His teachings are immor(t)al!

You asked it!

You mean the service at the Chinese restaurant The Drag on ?

Health Hazard!

Housewife to Neighbour:
I fear for my husband's health these days.
There is a lot of virus in his computer!

Childhood Proverb!

To keep the doctor away,
Send him an apple a day!