Choose your Crook!

Prompted by the news report that there are
graft-cases against 3500 employees of the
Municipal Corporation of Delhi (MCD)!
* MCD = Municipal Corruption of Delhi
* MCD = Municipal 'Kar-Pareshan' of Delhi
* MCD = Municipal Chor-poration of Delhi

Horseplay

Why would political parties have whips if they did'nt have horses?

Horse Trading!

Chief Secretary: Sir, you want us to go ahead with
this tender for horses?
The Minister: Yes! We need them for making the new
Government stable!

Too many holes!

Q: How was the visit to the Rabbit-Farm?
A: A 'Hare-Raising' experience!

Nail-Biting results of the Election!

Reporter: How do you feel?
Karunanidhi: 'Ill-action'!

After the Elections!

Q: What are the 'Left'(out) parties doing now?
A: Looking for the 'Right' people!

Gossip Medicine!

Neighbour: Where do you get all these new recipes?
Housewife: I always go to the doctor.
Neighbour: The doctor tells you these?
Housewife: No! The ladies present there!

Flu in without a Visa!

The H1N1 virus sounds more like
a category of the American visa!
Only that you get it flying-out of the US!

Science Fiction!

Though called Body-Chemistry,
in reality it is all Physical!

E-Mail ? or Female ?

Secretary: My boss is a dictator!
Friend: Why do you say so?
Secretary: He dictates to me
all his e-mails!

Wealth is Health!

Report: Children of a corrupt politician are soaking in luxury.
Comments: Hay makes the son shine!

Another Slum! Another Dog!

Director: You appear excited about the new person you hired!
Manager : Sir, he is from a slum of Mumbai and says he wants
to be a millionaire!

For your appetite!

Q: What makes a good Indian cook?
A: NAN-SENSE!

Bye! Bye!

Q: How do you say Good-Bye in Japanese?
A: SAY-ONARA!

Presidential View!

Clinton:
A bird in hand is better than two with Bush!

A Heavy Search!

Shop-Assistant: Sir, your wife is here!
The customer: Where? Where?
Assistant (returning with her): Here she is!
Weight 63 kilos!

The Whole Hole!

After a municipal land-fill exercise,
one rabbit complaining to the other:
Someone has stolen my hole!

Yes Minister!

Politician praising an author:
He is known for his prose and worse!

Matter for Divorce!

Woman: I want to divorce my husband for cruelty!
Judge: What did he do to you?
Woman: Absolutely nothing!

Marital Infidelity!

Party Gossip: Maria's husband found in bed with Malaria!

Electronic Voting!

Q: Why couldn't Pappu vote at the Polling Booth?
A: He thought the voting machine was a Casiotone!

Hard Hitting!

Glass-shop Owner: Why are you holding a hammer?
New Salesman: This customer is asking for 4 pieces
of this glass!

Off The Lap-Top!

Flair for Computer Education?
- BASIC Instinct!

A point of View!

Some women despise the menfolk,
yet they call themselves we-men!

Beware!

What is common between a Horse and a Hard Drink ?
- Both give you a kick!

Hard Decision!

Boss: There was referendum in our office
today, on whether to wear a tie or not.
Wife: What was the result?
Boss: A tie!

Scribbled outside a Polling-Booth!

For Adults Only!

Exciting!

Signboard outside a floor-tile shop:
'Floor-Show'!

Pure Milk!

A small town
House-Owner: Our milkman is said to be doing a lot of adultery these days.
Neighbour: Who told you that?
House-Owner: My wife of course!

Definitions!

What is Myopia of one eye?
MYOPIUM!

Reading-Matter!

The latest newspaper in the town?
'The Daily Nuis.'!

Down to Earth!

Complaining to the builder about the crumbling walls,
Flat-Owner: 'Flat' is what you call it?
The Builder: Not yet!

Long Distance!

There are 2 types of people in the world!
There are those who look far;
they have a vision before them.
Then, there are those who cannot see far;
they have a television before them!

Facts of Life!

For most people marriage is a heir-raising experience!

Beware! The Ear!

Friend: Which brand is your dog? Does it bite?
Dog-owner: Its a boxer! It does bite, and hard!
Friend: What is its name?
Dog-Owner: Tyson!

Between the Twins!

Comment: Mohan is a carbon-copy of Sohan!
Question: Does he look exactly the same?
Answer: Well, only far too dark!

American Patents!

The Rice and Fall of Basmati!

SMS from Saudi Arabia!

So said the Hyderabadi bride: Old is .. cold!

Cricket!

A game of 'bet' and 'bawl'!

Toe to Head!

Signboard outside a shoe-shop:
Find your sole-mate here!

Situation Vacant!

Ad in the newspaper!
Leading slaughterhouse in Saudi Arabia looking for a Head!

Bollywood Definitions!

Damsel with lovely long hair: Mis-Tress
Damsel with none to take care: Distress!

Party Musings!

And there was that socialite who did'nt want her cold to go away,
simply because she had acquired it on a foreign trip!

Missed the Flight!

So, the pilots got stuck at the airport,
just because they could'nt find a 'crew-driver'!

Very Sporty!

Player: I had to get out of the game due to a leg-break.
Friend: Been playing cricket, eh?
Player: No! Football!

Body Beautiful!

Q: If a nice-looking male is called 'Handsome',
what could a lovely female be called ? 'Legsome'!

Loving-Couple!

Hotel-Receptionist: Are you together?
Boy with the girl: Well, trying to-get-her!

Hard-Hitting!

Signboard outside a Car Body-Repair Garage:
Dentist!

Virtual Love!

Nagging girl: Darling, what sort of ring
will you give me at our wedding?
Fed-Up boy: Long-Distance!

Growing Up!

Many agree that
as the molars become strong,
the morals become loose!

What a comfort!

The proverb: Life is not a bed of roses!
Thank God! Otherwise,
the thorns would have made sleeping impossible!

On Medical Grounds!

The Supervisor: I just caught you sleeping while on the job!
Factory-Worker: The doctor had said an extra doze did'nt matter!

Dear Watson!

When Khushwant Singh knocked at midnight
at the door of Sherlock Holms, came the reply
from inside: 'Kuchh want Singh, I presume'!

Eating out?

Girl: Let's go out for a bite! Care for a hot dog?
Miser: No need to go out. The dog is right here!
Girl: Silly! I mean a hot-dog!
Miser: You really sweat when he bites!

On the Battlefield!

Where did Napoleon fight his last battle?
Some loo that!

Printer's Devil!

About a great philosopher:
His teachings are immor(t)al!

You asked it!

You mean the service at the Chinese restaurant The Drag on ?

Health Hazard!

Housewife to Neighbour:
I fear for my husband's health these days.
There is a lot of virus in his computer!

Childhood Proverb!

To keep the doctor away,
Send him an apple a day!